All Hail Prince Loki Voldemort Gollum Sherlock Cambridge, Wielder Of The Royal Baby Rattle

"Oyez, oyez, oyez! On this day, the 22nd of July, in the year 2013, we welcome, with humble duty, a future king, the firstborn of Their Royal Highness The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, the third in line to the throne. And our new prince is the third great-grandchild of Her Majesty the Queen and the grandchild of His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. May he be long lived, happy, and glorious, and one day rule over us. God save the Queen!" ~ Town Crier and Captain Hook impersonator Tony Appleton, July 22nd, 2013

"Mr. Appleton, where did you get that hat? I'd love one for myself, to wear it at Ascot next year." ~ Princess Beatrice of York

Well, the world's most eagerly anticipated pregnancy has brought about a son to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The paparazzi were successfully avoided and the new parents got some actual time alone with their newborn baby. Much to the chagrin of the Dark Lord, Rupert Murdoch, who would have loved to film the whole thing and sell it all over the world.

We thought we'd play around with the theme in an image blog. Personally, we doubt we're invited to the baptism. After all, with that whole exhibitionist scene we made last year at the Order of the Garters ceremonies, we're on a watch list. So we got a little carried away with ourselves. How were we supposed to know it's not about that kind of garter?

Without A Word: Not Exactly Your Mother's Brand Of Exhibitionism

Musical Interludes: Mel Gibson Really Hates The English

"Historical accuracy? Oh, really, who would expect that out of one of my movies? Seriously, no one will complain, aside from a few stuffy academics in an ivory tower." ~ Roland Emmerich, 1999

"Damned English!" Mel Gibson, 1999

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and we thought we'd do a music blog for the occasion. We're choosing a selection of film music, one of those examples in the cinema where the score is far and away the best part of the movie. This is John Williams, the master, with a cue from Roland Emmerich's film The Patriot. The music is stirring... the movie, on the other hand, wrecks havoc with the historical timeline and events of the American Revolution. And paints the British as if they're psychotics and monsters. One would think Mel Gibson had issues with them.

And of course the film gives us a brood of children, not one of whom seems to age a bit over the years of the Revolution. Seriously, are we all to believe these kids have had their growth stunted by smoking tobacco?

Happy Fourth of July!