Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Of Masquerades, Lusting After Nuns, And Handcuffs

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Hallowe’en.” ~ Anonymous

Tomorrow is Hallowe’en, the traditional night before All Saints Day, when little ghosts and goblins walk the street, dashing from door to door in search of chocolates and candy (none of that impossible to chew taffy, thank you very much). Homes set up decorations for the holiday, including traumatic ritual slaughtering and carving of perfectly innocent pumpkins into garish jack o’lanterns. And for adults like Scarlett and I, it’s an excuse to get dressed up in something a little different (though no less sexy), just so we can get ourselves out of those slightly different clothes...
I refuse to harm a single pumpkin! I do, however, love getting candy. What will you make me do for those cherry cordials I love? You know I love to perform...to please you....
Just the thought of what you can do with a cherry cordial has me hot and bothered... hmm, let’s see, the thought of you throwing your head back and wailing in ecstasy comes to mind...
In previous years, Scarlett and I have tended to go for different choices in our Hallowe’en costumes. A couple of years back we decided to go to the mayor’s masquerade ball as Adam and Eve. Our costumes simply consisted of strategically placed fig leaves, and, well, we got a little carried away with ourselves, the fig leaves were quickly tossed aside, and we were having our way with each other on top of the grand piano in front of two hundred guests.
Sufficed to say, we’re banned from the mayor’s home forever.
I loved those costumes! They were so...liberating! I don't know what everyone was so upset about. Unless they've been living in a monastery—which, given that they're in politics, is highly unlikely—we weren't doing anything they hadn't seen and done themselves!
All right...maybe not as publicly as we do, but....
We’re kind of uninhibited. Most people aren’t.
This year, among children and among adults who partake, there are certainly some popular choices for costumes. The Hunger Games has created a bit of an appetite for archers dressed like the characters in the books and movies... or some of the more garish characters who look on while young people spend their time slaughtering each other for entertainment. There’s also quite a market for superhero costumes this year, what with the success of films this summer from the Batman, Spider-Man, and Avengers franchises. That’s been reflecting in what’s been out there in the costumes you can find for kids, and something for the adults too.

We actually have all the Avengers costumes. We use them for our, uh, role playing. I've had passionate encounters with Thor, Captain America, Iron Man...playing Tony and Pepper was especially enjoyable.
Yes, wasn’t it?
And yes... role playing is a pretty good term for it.
Though I have to admit that I liked turning you into the Incredible Hulk. And you were incredible!
You were beyond spectacular!
Oh...you were saying?
I was? Oh, yes, well, I got distracted by all sorts of thoughts of the two of us all... ahem. Blog first, lust afterwards.
Scarlett tried on a Catwoman costume. Turned me on in all sorts of ways, and well, we just couldn’t help ourselves. I’m sure the costume shop owner must have been wondering what those sounds were that we were making. Let’s just say we bought the costume for play at home, but we decided to go with something else.
It was!
This year we’re sticking with the Avengers theme instead. I’ve gotten myself a Hawkeye costume, just like Jeremy Renner’s look.
And Scarlett went with that black leather jumpsuit for the Black Widow. Shows off all the right curves too. She looks smashing. Oh my. Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?

Oh, I do like this...but I feel like it should come with something to restrain my opponents...say, a pair a handcuffs? But then, the Black Widow takes no prisoners.
I love it when you put me in handcuffs. I also love it when we get ourselves cuffed to each other. Just as long as we don’t lose the keys behind the bed, like we did that one time in the bed and breakfast....
I know that you like dangerous women, darling. Goes back to that Catholic school you attended as a boy, doesn't it?  You got turned on imagining what those nuns were wearing—or not wearing—under their habits. Even as a boy, you were so naughty!

I couldn’t help it!
And now I get to spend all my naked time with a naughty woman!
We love costumes...but we don't restrict them to Hallowe'en. No...we love to get into character, then get out of the costume.  Remember the time we did hooker and vice cop? I think the man who ran that bar thought that bust was for real....
The look on his face was priceless!
So, from both of us to all of you, Happy Hallowe’en, and whatever costume you’re getting, make sure it’s something you can get out of quickly with your significant other. There’s nothing quite as annoying as a knot that can’t be untied...


  1. So, that was you guys in costume in that bar? Huh.

    Happy Halloween-y!

  2. This was sooooo much fun to write!

  3. That's an understatement!

    Scarlett and James are incorrigible!

  4. This was fun to read and I want to go to a halloween party and dress up and, and ...
    I would have loved to see the look on the mayor's face. Hahahaha.

  5. Scarlett and James should just forget about the costumes. Stay home, keep the doors closed, and leave a big bowl of candy outside for the kiddies.

    Hugs and chocolate,