Saturday, September 17, 2011

Of Adult Entertainment Shutdowns And Frolicking In Public Places

Darling, have you heard the news? It seems the porn industry's on a shut down....

Oh, yes...I heard about that. It turned out that HIV scare was a false positive. We wouldn't miss it anyway., We don't watch porn. We make our own movies. 

I never was much for spectator sports.

Unless the spectators are watching us.
I thought it might be a cover story for a strike, you know, the actors, if you want to call them that, wanting a raise.

Yes, but then we wouldn't be the spectators, darling. And their men are amateurs compared to you!
Thank you, goddess. You know, I suppose from their point of view, they're really... hard workers. It's really a rigorous line of work to go into.

True. It does require a great deal of stamina. Ron Jeremy must take his Viagra through an IV by now.
Now there's a lovely image. You know, I never got the point to him. Sure, he's, well, big and all, but he looks like something you'd see under a bridge in a Grimm Brothers story.

*Scarlett laughs* 
We do think alike, my love. "Troll" was the word that came to mind for me as well!

Not that the acting range of most people in the industry can be described as, well... good. With porn, you're just required to look a certain way and have a lot of sex. With Teamsters manning the camera. I mean, really, if you're going to have a group of people watching you having sex, why not go upscale?

As you know perfectly well, darling, I'm not opposed to being watched. But the idea of a bunch of leering Teamsters isn't my first choice as an audience.
It's much more fun to have an audience of shocked and outraged... and rather turned on, upright citizens. Like we did last week when we got frisky in front of the town hall meeting.
Ah, yes. The Mayor was not amused....
He vowed to run us out of town if we didn't stop with the public displays of affection.

He was just jealous! I saw that tentpole in his pants!
He must be frustrated at home. Maybe the wife's mad at him. Maybe his secret stash of porn has run out during the shutdown.

He definitely had the look of a man who's not getting any.
Poor guy. By the way... how do you run out of a stash of porn? Can't you just watch something from your collection again?'s entirely possible he handled the tapes without washing his know, afterward. That could damage them.
That's what he gets for having to... get off all by himself. Never a problem for you and I, is it, Mistress?

And it never will be. Now get over here, lover, and get out of those clothes. The bathtub awaits us....


  1. I like the Porn Flakes. I've heard there are others: Prostituties--they just lay at the bottom of the bowl. And Queerios--pour mile on them and they eat each other.

  2. It's sex, sex, sex, all the time with these two...

  3. OMG, Queerio's....that's hilarious!!!

    You two are incorrigible!!! And, I love it!!!

  4. Very funny!! This should be on Leno--well maybe not. Hilarious and I love the actors looking for a raise and the naughty and depressed Mayor.

  5. I wonder how many pounds of lube they go through in a year.

  6. Ha ha! Porn Flakes, Queerios. That is too funny.

  7. Too funny! Really some great stuff in this one.

  8. Now imagine the challenge of looking up images under "funny porn". Sufficed to say, looking over your shoulder to make sure no one's looking at your screen is done a lot....