Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The International Intruder: Sitting Down With A New York Editor

Today here at the International Intruder, we're having a chat with Dana Butler, fashion editor at Worldview. Ms. Butler has been helming the magazine's fashion section for five years, and is a regular fixture at society parties in New York City and beyond.

Intruder: Ms. Butler, thank you for chatting with us today. To begin, where do you see the world of fashion going in the next year?

Dana: To hell in a handbasket. I can't believe how many women I see on the streets in jeans and T-shirts. And sweats, for crying out loud! And those stupid doctors telling us high heels are not good for our feet. We shouldn't care about what's good for our feet. We should care how we look!

Intruder: It has been said, most recently by our publisher, the esteemed Wally "Scorched Earth" Teagarden, that the fashion world doesn't really reflect the way society really operates. From bizarre clothing being sent down the runways to assertions from designers that the world revolves around them. How would you respond to such a suggestion?

Dana: Since when is vanity not a good thing? 

Intruder: Tell us the truth. Karl Lagerfeld. Just an eccentric sort of fellow or a bloodsucking lord of the undead?

Dana: Oh, I'm fairly certain he's a vampire. But he's sooooo talented! Sacrifices must be made for true creative genius. So what if a few ordinary people must be sacrificed for the sake of art or fashion?

Lord Lagerfeld, Master of the Targos Blood Clan

Intruder: We've heard a lot down through the years about supermodel egos and misbehavior. The courts have had  more then a few hearings about "model rage", and let's face it, Naomi Campbell is a lawyer's industry in and of herself. What would you describe as the biggest model prima donna meltdown you've ever witnessed?

Dana: Bigger than Naomi? Even that suggestion would send her into a rage that would result in hairbrushes and phones being hurled like missiles!  But between you and me, all models are prima donnas.

Intruder: We thought so. How do you manage, in all the time you devote to your work, which certainly isn't a nine to five job, to find time for yourself? How do you unwind from the pressures of the job?

Dana: I like to hunt. I hunt hunks.Try saying that fast three times.

I had my eye on a prime specimen. But my best friend married him. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a brother. Maybe I could have him cloned. Oh, he is hot!

Intruder: We understand from our sources that you're the proud servant to a feline with a risque name. Is it true that you named your cat Pussy?

Dana: Who told you that? Who blabbed? And who said I'm a servant?

Pussy the Voyeur

Intruder: Privileged information as to our source, I'm afraid. Journalism standards and ethics and all. Yes, we know that sounds strange coming from a tabloid. Anyway, from our source, we understand that Pussy has a tendency to, well, watch how things progress when you're, to put it mildly, engaging in certain adult activities. Is this true?

Dana: So Pussy likes to watch. I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist. Would you like to see for yourself if Pussy really likes to watch?

Intruder: I, um... well, that's what Ryan... er, I mean, that's what our source said.

Dana: Ryan? Ryan Taylor? You've been talking with that no good bastard? That's it! This interview is over!

With that, Ms. Butler left the room. We didn't try to stop her. According to our sources, the lady does carry a taser with her.


  1. Note to Ryan Taylor: run like hell, man, run like hell....

  2. She's got a tazer and she's not afraid to use it!

  3. Love the Hello Kitty tazer!!! That's hilarious.

    Great interview...look forward to "meeting" her...

  4. Wow, these characters are opinionated. Bravo!

  5. Cool characters with some strong opinions!

  6. Dana is a force of nature, and a lot of fun to write.