Friday, December 7, 2012

Longshot Names For A Royal Baby



It seems that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are now expecting. Yes, William and Kate will be in the coming months, barring any complications, welcoming a baby into the royal family, and the press are already in a feeding frenzy. Some of them are trying to steal ultrasounds. Others are planning to figure out a way to get the first pictures of the royal tyke in a few months.

And of course many people are speculating on names, even taking bets on the possible outcome. Elizabeth or Diana feature high on many such lists for girls, and Philip, Charles, or Louis are among the contenders for boy's names.

Then there are the names that aren't likely to be on any such list. We thought we'd share some names that you'll never see in a Royal Family (never say never, there is a great-granddaughter in the mix named Savannah, so)...

For the girls:

Anything derived from the Kardashians (sorry, Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, but you can blame your mother, who never met a camera she didn't like and has no idea what decorum and dignity mean, for the fact that you're not getting a royal baby named after you. That, and the fact that two of you have misspelled names certainly doesn't help your cause)
Paris
Lindsay
Rihanna
Britney
Snooki
Ke$ha
Cleopatra
Edina
Patsy
Margaret Thatcher Mountbatten-Windsor
Bella Swan Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Twilight fans)
Camilla (sorry, Step-Mommy Dearest)
Drucilla (too vampirish, sorry, Dru)
Bindi Sue (what was Steve Irwin thinking?)
Nymphadora Tonks Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Harry Potter fans)
Jadis Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Narnia fans, but the White Witch's name is off limits)

For the boys:

Otto
Attila
Osama
Saddam
Kanye
Bubba
The Situation Mountbatten-Windsor
Edward Cullen Mountbatten-Windsor (what did we tell you, Twilight fans?)
John Major Mountbatten-Windsor
Tony Blair Mountbatten-Windsor
Gordon Brown Mountbatten-Windsor
Rupert Murdoch Mountbatten-Windsor
Michael Jackson Mountbatten-Windsor
Rufus
Brutus
Sauron
Denethor
Meriadoc Brandybuck
Peregrin Took
Lord Voldemort
Sirius Mountbatten-Windsor
Remus Mountbatten-Windsor
Albus Dumbledore Mountbatten-Windsor (again, sorry, Harry Potter fans)
Prince Caspian Mountbatten-Windsor (well, actually, that one works...)

So, any names you'd suggest the Royals steer clear from?





6 comments:

  1. Obama and Mitt come to mind. Cute post!

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  2. Meriadoc Brandybuck?
    I was so hoping for Ablus... darn.

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  3. I have to agree with Eve. Barack, Obama, Mitt, or Romney would definitely be out.

    I would definitely NOT name a child of mine after the likes of Rush Limbaugh or Todd Akin (for which Collin is grateful). I doubt anyone as classy as William and Kate would, either. I know what it's like to be saddled with a really crappy name.

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  4. If anyone named their kid Snooki, they should be arrested emotional abuse.

    :)

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  5. Obviously Honey Boo Boo is out of the question.

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