Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The International Intruder: Sitting Down With A New York Editor

Today here at the International Intruder, we're having a chat with Dana Butler, fashion editor at Worldview. Ms. Butler has been helming the magazine's fashion section for five years, and is a regular fixture at society parties in New York City and beyond.

Intruder: Ms. Butler, thank you for chatting with us today. To begin, where do you see the world of fashion going in the next year?

Dana: To hell in a handbasket. I can't believe how many women I see on the streets in jeans and T-shirts. And sweats, for crying out loud! And those stupid doctors telling us high heels are not good for our feet. We shouldn't care about what's good for our feet. We should care how we look!

Intruder: It has been said, most recently by our publisher, the esteemed Wally "Scorched Earth" Teagarden, that the fashion world doesn't really reflect the way society really operates. From bizarre clothing being sent down the runways to assertions from designers that the world revolves around them. How would you respond to such a suggestion?

Dana: Since when is vanity not a good thing? 

Intruder: Tell us the truth. Karl Lagerfeld. Just an eccentric sort of fellow or a bloodsucking lord of the undead?

Dana: Oh, I'm fairly certain he's a vampire. But he's sooooo talented! Sacrifices must be made for true creative genius. So what if a few ordinary people must be sacrificed for the sake of art or fashion?

Lord Lagerfeld, Master of the Targos Blood Clan

Intruder: We've heard a lot down through the years about supermodel egos and misbehavior. The courts have had  more then a few hearings about "model rage", and let's face it, Naomi Campbell is a lawyer's industry in and of herself. What would you describe as the biggest model prima donna meltdown you've ever witnessed?

Dana: Bigger than Naomi? Even that suggestion would send her into a rage that would result in hairbrushes and phones being hurled like missiles!  But between you and me, all models are prima donnas.

Intruder: We thought so. How do you manage, in all the time you devote to your work, which certainly isn't a nine to five job, to find time for yourself? How do you unwind from the pressures of the job?

Dana: I like to hunt. I hunt hunks.Try saying that fast three times.

I had my eye on a prime specimen. But my best friend married him. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a brother. Maybe I could have him cloned. Oh, he is hot!

Intruder: We understand from our sources that you're the proud servant to a feline with a risque name. Is it true that you named your cat Pussy?

Dana: Who told you that? Who blabbed? And who said I'm a servant?

Pussy the Voyeur

Intruder: Privileged information as to our source, I'm afraid. Journalism standards and ethics and all. Yes, we know that sounds strange coming from a tabloid. Anyway, from our source, we understand that Pussy has a tendency to, well, watch how things progress when you're, to put it mildly, engaging in certain adult activities. Is this true?

Dana: So Pussy likes to watch. I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist. Would you like to see for yourself if Pussy really likes to watch?

Intruder: I, um... well, that's what Ryan... er, I mean, that's what our source said.

Dana: Ryan? Ryan Taylor? You've been talking with that no good bastard? That's it! This interview is over!

With that, Ms. Butler left the room. We didn't try to stop her. According to our sources, the lady does carry a taser with her.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day: A Character's Point Of View

We thought we'd do something a little different today, in marking Mother's Day. Both of our leading characters in Same Time Tomorrow have their own perspectives and relationships with their mothers, and we thought it would be an ideal choice to write from Gabriel and Chloe's point of view. Enjoy, and let us know what you think....

Gabriel: One of the things that goes through my head every once in awhile is that I'll reach a point where I've gotten older then my parents. That's just a few years away. My mom and dad, Sheila and Alec Miller, were killed by a drunk driver years ago. They were in the prime of life; I was eighteen. Nearly half my life now I've been an orphan. It was a hard time for me, and I found it difficult at times to cope with what I had lost. Now, as time goes on, and I get closer to their age, I wonder a lot how they'd think of the way I've lived my life, of what I've done. I wish they were here, and I miss them terribly.

My mother was a doctor, always the sort who'd help out someone in distress. She had a wry sense of humor- got that from both of her parents, by the way- and a kind heart. Compassion and strength, that's how I'd define her. I think about her, and I wish that she and Dad were still here now. That I could introduce them to Chloe. That'll never happen. They're gone, and I have only the memory of them still with me. Good memories. As hard as it was, there comes a point that I've learned to live with it, that the good memories outweigh the sorrow.

God bless, Mom and Dad. Thanks for bringing me up and doing right by me. I hope you'd be proud of me.

Chloe: My father left us when I was a little girl. No warning, no reason. He just drove off one day and never came back. From that day on, my mother, Linda Masters, became both mother and father to me in a sense. She always did the best she could with a troubled little girl who had anger issues and a tendency to act out aggressively. I never understood why my daddy no longer loved us, and Mom couldn't explain it to me. I hated him for what he did to us, and it left me unable to trust men--until I met Gabriel.

Had I not had such a strong, loving mother, I could have turned out badly.  But she was always patient and loving, doing all she could to repair my damaged emotions. She's not just my mom, she's my best friend. And now I'm going to lose her.

My mother is dying. She has Stage Four pancreatic cancer. It's not fair. This wonderful, loving woman who has, to my knowledge, never had a cross word for anyone, is dying much too soon. How much do you want to bet my so-called father is alive and in perfect health? Mom calls dying "going to her reward." I guess that's true.

If anyone deserves to be rewarded for the live they've lived, it's Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to every mom who reads this!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Earth's Mightiest Leather, Spandex, And Temper Tantrums

Today, James and I are going to talk about Marvel's The Avengers. I'm guessing the Marvel part of the title is to indicate this film has nothing to do with the British TV series also titled The Avengers. I think they should have had to change their name. "The Avengers" suits this team so much better!

Earth's mightiest heroes certainly fits the name, and Scarlett and I loved the movie. Some of the reviews we've been using have the term nerdgasm in them. Not quite the same as orgasms, but at the very least a kind of bliss, right?

Oh, yessssssss!

The Avengers Initiative is the creation of SHIELD, headed by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), here with his operatives Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) and Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders).

Things go wrong early in the film when, at a secure facility, a project involving the tesseract, the cube last seen in the film Captain America The First Avenger, is being studied by Doctor Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard, returning from last summer's Thor). The device draws someone to Earth, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who has plans of his own, and fresh tricks up his sleeve.

Their special consultant, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is Iron Man--perfect for the Avengers Initiative, if not for Tony's volatile, not-a-team-player personality.

Downey, of course, as Stark, is much more interested in his own pursuits, opening a new building in New York and his growing relationship with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow, reprising her role briefly after the first two Iron Man films.)

The Avengers are a band of six superheroes, most of who have never met before--except for the elite assassins, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), who obviously have a long history and more than a working relationship. They make Mr. and Mrs. Smith look like amateurs!

And circumstance draws the two of them, for a time, into opposing roles. I was fascinated by the Widow's history with Hawkeye, not to mention her techniques at using deception, stealth, and psychology at the most opportune times. And there is that leather suit she wears....

You're getting ideas, aren't you?

Oh, lots of them, yes!

The Avengers are facing off against Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the Asgardian God of Mischief--yep, from Norse mythology--but according to that great philosopher, Stan Lee, the Norse had it wrong. Asgard is actually another planet, and the "gods" visit us through a wormhole (I wonder if they've ever visited Deep Space Nine?).

An entirely different sci fi universe, darling, believe me....

I think the stuff Loki's doing now is more than mere mischief....

Well, he does have a way of bringing a whole army with him, so that's a lot more than mischief.

I believe Tom Hiddleston now calls him The God of Menace.

It fits him!

Joining Hawkeye and Black Widow in the fight are Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Loki's brother (as Thor is quick to point out, Loki's adopted) and Captain America (Chris Evans), who is well over ninety year old, by my estimation. He looks really, really good for his age, doesn't he?

Super soldier formulas do wonders for the body. And Cap always struck me as the sort who eats an apple a day to keep the doctor away.

Whatever he's doing, he's doing it right!

As for Thor, what a hunk! If it's true about the size of a man's hammer being related to the size of his....

Scarlett, sweetie, children might be reading this!

No, they're not. It has a warning, remember?

Darling, would you be willing to do a bit of role-playing? If you'll suit up as either of these hunks, I promise to put on Black Widow's costume and interrogate you!

Is that a promise? Just the thought of getting... interrogated like that really turns me on!

As long as you give me Thor and Cap!

And then there's the Hulk. This not only happens to him when he's angry, it happens when he's excited. Oh, my....

The Hulk is indeed the last part of the puzzle. Mark Ruffalo is brought in to replace Edward Norton and Eric Bana, who have played the role of Bruce Banner before, and he really suits the character very well. 

He does! This was a smart move!

The thought of what might happen if the Hulk got excited is a slightly disturbing one, you know...

How do you feel about being painted green, love?

James smash!

These guys should have all been on People's Sexiest Man Alive list....

No kidding! The casting teams of these films really did a great job bringing them all together, and Joss Whedon, directing the final product, ended up hitting the ball right out of the park with this film. We're really recommending it.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to do a little... interrogation.

You are my prisoner, after all....