Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Balls Dropping And Other Spectacles

New Year's Eve is upon us... so we're spending the night sneaking into the governor's bash. Sure, we've been kicked out of there before for getting all exhibitionist, but why not have another go at it? Just because the governor's mother-in-law is prudish doesn't mean we can't have a little fun...
Incidentally, our New Year's resolution? More sex. In more out of the ordinary locations. In front of an audience.

Monday, December 23, 2013

We Admit It: We Have Been Very Naughty This Year

Christmas Eve is upon us... and we'll be busy unwrapping our presents. By which we mean lying by the fire and stripping out of our clothing and having our way with each other. And doing a lot of things under the mistletoe that would shock Sister Mary Margaret.

Or get her wondering what on Earth she was thinking with that whole vow of chastity thing.

Merry Christmas! And be sure to have your attorney with you when you appeal Santa's appalling lack of presents. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Snippet Sunday: Unsexy Thoughts

Another snippet from our work Same Time Tomorrow, featuring our Chloe and Gabriel sharing a bed (before things get too steamy) and trying to behave themselves...

He could feel her snuggle closer to him in the bed at the sound of his words, felt her breath at his neck, the form of her body close to his own. It had an erotic energy all of its own. Think about something not sexy at all, lad, or you wont be able to stop yourself, he told himself with a smile.
I definitely dont want you to be there alone. Her voice was full of promise, and it was enough to drive him over the edge. Lets see here, what would do the job? Thinking about Mrs. Wallace, the sadist music  teacher back in grade three? Thatll do the trick, getting me out of the mood. She could have taught cruelty lessons to Hitler. She probably did. Chloes voice reached him. Hey, Gabriel?
Sorry. Trying to behave myself, thinking about things that arent sexy.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Snippet Sunday: A Rotten Day

Another Snippet Sunday post today, with a short passage from our work Same Time Tomorrow. This features our leading lady Chloe early in the story, having a rough day that just keeps getting rougher....

By the time Chloe left the office that evening, the rain had stopped, but her troubles hadn't. She had no sooner left the building and was standing at the curb than a passing truck hit a large puddle and sent a torrent of muddy water her way.
"Damn!" she shouted as the light changed, allowing her to finally cross the street to the bus stop... just as the bus pulled away.
She decided to walk. As she reached Central Park, she saw a couple in a horse-drawn carriage, locked in an embrace. He's probably just proposed. In a horse-drawn carriage in Central Park, Chloe thought with disdain. Now he'll take her to dinner at an elegant restaurant. Then they'll have an inexcusably expensive wedding with five hundred of their closest friends, a honeymoon in some exotic location, and end up divorced.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Snippet Sunday: A Drunken Lout

We have another Snippet Sunday blog today from Same Time Tomorrow, this one from early in the manuscript with Gabriel at a bar in Norway, where he happens upon a man he knows and dislikes...

            “Allow me,” Gabriel told him before he could move. He walked down the length of the bar, hearing the voice, an American.
“Come on now, darling, what’s your hurry?” The voice sounded slurred. Yes, of course. He’s been drinking.
“Do you mind, lad?” Gabriel said in his most condescending tone, his Irish accent clear. “After all, the lady has no idea where a dog like you has been.” The man turned, releasing his hold on the waitress. She stepped away, a look of gratitude in her eyes for Gabriel’s intervention. “Where are your manners, Jeremy?”
Jeremy stared at Gabriel for a moment, and then seemed to recognize him. “Miller? What are you doing here?” His tone was sneering, contemptuous.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Snippet Sunday: Provocative Images

Snippet Sunday is a group at Facebook where members post ten lines from one of their works. We thought we'd post this piece from Same Time Tomorrow,  with one of our protagonists, Gabriel, getting a surprise on his mobile from Chloe, the woman he's involved with, while the two of them are separated by an ocean...

The first image featured Chloe nude, reclining in bed, looking directly at the camera, her eyes lustful, her body inviting. He gasped. Oh my indeed… The next images featured her fondling herself, caressing her breasts, as if he was there, as if he was the one doing that. He stepped out of the church, briefly remembering where he was, coming out onto the front steps. He clicked on the next images, seeing her touching herself, sliding two fingers inside… Gabriel ached to be there, to be in her bed… to have her here… to make love with her.
He reluctantly closed the attachments, would look forward to seeing them on his laptop later. Cold water until then, lad, he told himself with a smirk. What a woman, he thought. And how lucky I am to have her…

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Musical Interludes: When Is A Christmas Song Not A Christmas Song?

It's getting to be that time of year. Christmas. The songs are going on endlessly in the malls, and people are thinking of unwrapping presents. We're thinking of unwrapping each other. We heard one of the familiar ones earlier... and it seems by listening to the lyrics... that it's not really a Christmas song. It does take into account spending time by the fireplace, which we always recommend, but is it a Christmas song or not? Listen to Old Blue Eyes and decide for yourself.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

That's A Diagnosis We Can Live With

We thought we'd present a few fresh toons from Last Kiss today. The Sisters Of Little Or No Mercy would not approve, but that's part of the fun...

Monday, November 18, 2013

Chainmail Lingerie And Explosive Climaxes

The God of Thunder returns in the sequel Thor: The Dark World, out right now in cinemas. Scarlett and I thought we might review it, after a fashion. Assuming we don’t get distracted. We tend to get distracted quite a lot.

We do, indeed--though I could just admire Chris Hemsworth all day. That man is truly a work of art! But so are you, my darling. Mustn't be jealous....

Of course not! Much has been said about the film, an epic adventure based on the comic, something of a Lord of the Rings sensibility about Asgard, an old enemy, some romantic entanglements, and a brother who likes to get into all sorts of mischief. We thought we’d talk about some of it.

Ah, yes-- Loki. Now there's a fellow who actually causes more mischief than we do-- but doesn't have nearly as much fun at it. A pity--Tom Hiddleston is quite a piece of tasty eye candy himself!

His fans must wish the film was called Loki, God of Mischief And Raised Eyebrows The story follows Thor in Asgard and on Earth as he and his friends deal with the new rising threat of an old enemy. Malekith the Dark Elf (no Legolas?) and his minions (not the cute kind) are the Big Bads this time out, and they mean business, unleashing war across the Nine Realms. This of course cuts short Thor’s reunion with Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). It’s been a couple of years since they’ve seen each other, and while that amount of time is meaningless to an immortal, she’s gotten rather impatient, particularly with him having had turned up on Earth once since she last saw him and she didn’t even merit a “hey, how are you doing, how about we get a cup of coffee or some mead?” phone call.

Legolas....also quite adorable. As for the Minions....

Minions are trouble, Scarlett! I suppose saving the world and keeping oneself busy putting out brush fires across the Nine Realms is a pretty good reason for staying away. Still, he could at least bring roses or chocolates. Anyway, the film’s a big sprawling sort of adventure, one of those “the entire cosmos is at stake” sort of things. The cast is good, the story moves along briskly, and unlike something out of a Guy Ritchie film, you can actually keep track of what’s happening.

I would have liked to see him give her something a bit more, shall we say, intimate?

I wonder if Asgardians use chainmail lingerie. We did have one outstanding problem. Thor and Jane don’t get enough alone time.

That's putting it mildly. Two years without lovemaking would make me crazy! They should have been all over each other!

They should have! I mean, come on, Marvel! We know you’re trying to get as much of an audience as possible, hence the PG rating, but it’s been two years, and we can’t get so much as a morning after scene? We have to make assumptions in between the scenes? Look, it’s very simple. You certainly had bedroom scenes in the Iron Man films. You can get away with it in a film with Thor and Jane.

It's Disney. It's all their fault. Two Thor films and we get two shirtless scenes? Unforgivable! As much as I enjoyed seeing Tony Stark in action-- and yes, I mean that kind of action-- I want to see Thor get some, too. And Captain America, while they're at it!

They’ve certainly earned it. Though it does occur to me that there could be a problem. If Thor gets too excited during sex… can a mortal woman hold up to that? It’s sort of the same conundrum you have about Lois and Clark. How much is he holding back, so to speak?

Could be worse. Imagine the Hulk getting too excited.

That gives a whole new meaning to an explosive climax. 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Tricks, Treats, And Double Entendres

Well, it’s that time of year again. Hallowe’en. When ghosts and goblins wander the streets, kids go off trick or treating, hoping they’ll get chocolate instead of stale lollipops.

And we get even more creative than usual with our role-playing games (which DON'T involve a computer)!

We’ll be busy. We managed to get an invite to a big masquerade ball. No, not at the governor’s mansion. They’ll never let us in there again, not after last year when we inadvertently caused a few heart attacks while being frisky and exhibitionist. Can you blame us?

It's not our fault most of them were stuffy old prudes who didn't know how to have a good time. Or maybe they were just so turned on, their pacemakers gave out!

Instead, we’re going to a big fundraiser. In fact, we’re donating our talents, something of a magic act. We call it The Astounding Disappearing Hallowe’en Costumes. You see, we start getting a little carried away with ourselves, and then things get, well, pleasurable.

And you've always been quite the magician when it comes to making my costumes disappear!

Have yourself a fun Hallowe’en. If you happen to be at Worthington Hall, you’ll get an eyeful. And then some. You might even find yourself inspired.

I know I will be! Why darling...is that your magic wand, or are you just happy to see me? *giggles*

A little bit of both!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Musical Interludes: Breathless

We're both fond of the Irish band The Corrs, the sisters and brother musical outfit that really ought to get themselves back together. So we thought we'd take time today to bring up two of our favourite songs live in concert. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Are You Ready For Some Football?

No, not really. We think it's a tedious sport and would much rather spend our time having our way with each other and giving the Daughters Of The Revolution an eyeful.

Friday, September 27, 2013

When In Doubt, Write In More Sex

And in our second of two blogs showcasing Last Kiss, we have three more naughty rewritten cartoon panels for you.

For obvious reasons, don't show these to Sister Mary Margaret of the Sisters Of Little Or No Mercy.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

This Didn't Happen In John Ford Westerns

We thought we would go back today and glean some material from John Lustig's Last Kiss site, where he writes new and naughty dialogue into old cartoons. Today, the theme has a Western sensibility to it. Enjoy! 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Musical Interludes: Zoo TV

We thought we might go with a concert clip today, from U2. The Zoo TV tour followed up their albums Achtung Baby and Zooropa, featuring a mix of the old and the new. This clip, from Sydney, features two songs from The Joshua Tree, namely Running To Stand Still and Where The Streets Have No Name. The two songs are a stark contrast to each other; the first is a slow ballad about despair and addiction, while the second is an open ended song, open to countless interpretation, and a staple of live tours to this day. Enjoy, and if you're a fan, let us know, particularly if you've seen the band in concert.

Friday, August 30, 2013


We thought we'd have a little fun with the theme of nuptials. Enjoy!

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togevah today. That bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam... and wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..." ~ The Impressive Clergyman, The Princess Bride

"And do you.... do you... um, I'm terribly sorry, sir, this doesn't usually happen except when I've been drinking, and it's only been an hour since I last had that scotch, but I seem to have forgotten your name." ~ Father Liam O'Malley, 2013