Mawwiage

We thought we'd have a little fun with the theme of nuptials. Enjoy!

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togevah today. That bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam... and wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..." ~ The Impressive Clergyman, The Princess Bride

"And do you.... do you... um, I'm terribly sorry, sir, this doesn't usually happen except when I've been drinking, and it's only been an hour since I last had that scotch, but I seem to have forgotten your name." ~ Father Liam O'Malley, 2013

All Hail Prince Loki Voldemort Gollum Sherlock Cambridge, Wielder Of The Royal Baby Rattle

"Oyez, oyez, oyez! On this day, the 22nd of July, in the year 2013, we welcome, with humble duty, a future king, the firstborn of Their Royal Highness The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, the third in line to the throne. And our new prince is the third great-grandchild of Her Majesty the Queen and the grandchild of His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. May he be long lived, happy, and glorious, and one day rule over us. God save the Queen!" ~ Town Crier and Captain Hook impersonator Tony Appleton, July 22nd, 2013

"Mr. Appleton, where did you get that hat? I'd love one for myself, to wear it at Ascot next year." ~ Princess Beatrice of York

Well, the world's most eagerly anticipated pregnancy has brought about a son to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The paparazzi were successfully avoided and the new parents got some actual time alone with their newborn baby. Much to the chagrin of the Dark Lord, Rupert Murdoch, who would have loved to film the whole thing and sell it all over the world.

We thought we'd play around with the theme in an image blog. Personally, we doubt we're invited to the baptism. After all, with that whole exhibitionist scene we made last year at the Order of the Garters ceremonies, we're on a watch list. So we got a little carried away with ourselves. How were we supposed to know it's not about that kind of garter?

Longshot Names For A Royal Baby

It seems that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are now expecting. Yes, William and Kate will be in the coming months, barring any complications, welcoming a baby into the royal family, and the press are already in a feeding frenzy. Some of them are trying to steal ultrasounds. Others are planning to figure out a way to get the first pictures of the royal tyke in a few months.

And of course many people are speculating on names, even taking bets on the possible outcome. Elizabeth or Diana feature high on many such lists for girls, and Philip, Charles, or Louis are among the contenders for boy's names.

Then there are the names that aren't likely to be on any such list. We thought we'd share some names that you'll never see in a Royal Family (never say never, there is a great-granddaughter in the mix named Savannah, so)...

For the girls:

Anything derived from the Kardashians (sorry, Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, but you can blame your mother, who never met a camera she didn't like and has no idea what decorum and dignity mean, for the fact that you're not getting a royal baby named after you. That, and the fact that two of you have misspelled names certainly doesn't help your cause)
Paris
Lindsay
Rihanna
Britney
Snooki
Ke$ha
Cleopatra
Edina
Patsy
Margaret Thatcher Mountbatten-Windsor
Bella Swan Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Twilight fans)
Camilla (sorry, Step-Mommy Dearest)
Drucilla (too vampirish, sorry, Dru)
Bindi Sue (what was Steve Irwin thinking?)
Nymphadora Tonks Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Harry Potter fans)
Jadis Mountbatten-Windsor (sorry, Narnia fans, but the White Witch's name is off limits)

For the boys:

Otto
Attila
Osama
Saddam
Kanye
Bubba
The Situation Mountbatten-Windsor
Edward Cullen Mountbatten-Windsor (what did we tell you, Twilight fans?)
John Major Mountbatten-Windsor
Tony Blair Mountbatten-Windsor
Gordon Brown Mountbatten-Windsor
Rupert Murdoch Mountbatten-Windsor
Michael Jackson Mountbatten-Windsor
Rufus
Brutus
Sauron
Denethor
Meriadoc Brandybuck
Peregrin Took
Lord Voldemort
Sirius Mountbatten-Windsor
Remus Mountbatten-Windsor
Albus Dumbledore Mountbatten-Windsor (again, sorry, Harry Potter fans)
Prince Caspian Mountbatten-Windsor (well, actually, that one works...)

So, any names you'd suggest the Royals steer clear from?