Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve And A Selection Of Sentences

Normally we'd be doing a Six Sentence Sunday blog, but since tomorrow is New Year's Day, we'll be off, so we thought we'd do something similar, but with more sentences. The following are sentences from Same Time Tomorrow. From Scarlett and I, we wish you all a Happy New Year, and I can tell you that when midnight strikes, we'll be busy having our way with each other in between the sheets....

“Damn,” she muttered under her breath. “Of all the great places Chloe and Gabriel could have gotten married in New York, they had to come out to Hooterville...”
The male coyote looked at his mate. “Isn't that the one the owl scared the crap out of last night?”
Chloe was nervous. "Do you think she'll like me?" she asked as they headed north on I-270 toward Lambert-St. Louis International Airport.
Gabriel gave her a mischievous grin. "If she doesn't, we'll have to call the whole thing off," he said.  
Chloe and Bridget were both laughing. Gabriel looked at the both of them, and sighed in mock dismay. “Whatever she told you, I deny everything.”
“Get going, or I’ll have my way with you right now,” she told him, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Sleep well?” Rachel asked.
“Oh, deliriously. You?”
“Very well. No screech owls waking Dana up in the middle of the night either.”
Olivia broke out into laughter. “She’s never going to hear the end of that, is she?”
That thought made Bridget laugh. Oh, dear God... I’m going to be a great grandmother someday...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Coitus Cybernetus Interruptus And Christmas Wrapping

It's a wonder of technology, isn't it? Where decades ago, if you were away on business and wanted some personal time with your significant other, you'd have to rely on phone sex, and hope the operator wasn't listening in. These days, we have the computer, and web cams, that can help us bridge the miles. Unless the computer crashes.

This happened on an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Leonard's girlfriend was in India, and they decided to engage in cybersex. He got his clothes off, but just as she was removing hers, the monitor froze--he could hear her talking about what she was doing and wanted to do, but all he could see was her about to remove her nightgown--and his roomie, Sheldon, was on the other side of the wall, hearing the whole thing!

Damned computers! Not letting you get to the proverbial money shot. It leaves things... halfway done, so to speak. And that's never a good thing. Of course, there are other things that computers can do that interrupt cyber-sex at the worst possible time. Imagine, for instance, you're stripping for me onscreen, and a pop up window blocks out the screen advertizing, oh, a time share in Aspen.

Remind me never to invest in THAT timeshare!

At least the computers behave themselves for us. They know we would never tolerate crashes or pop-up windows while we're having our fun. You know... pop-up is something of a double entendre...

I wonder if we've ever been hacked the act?

If we have, it hasn't turned up online anywhere. As of yet. We've merely made the news for having our way with each other in public places.

Is it possible then, that no one will hack us because everyone has already seen the live show?

We do have that habit of being exhibitionists, even at this time of year. Where everyone else thinks that a mistletoe means two people have to share a kiss, you and I take it a step further. Then another step and another...

*Laughs* We take it a lot of steps further. I wonder what those people thought when we invaded the window display at Macy's and they saw Santa getting a lap dance?

I remember the gasps of outrage and disbelief. I especially remember that society matron who shouted through the window, "Well, I never!"  

I'm guessing that's why she was so upset. She never. EVER!

At least not since the Eisenhower administration! Well, as we said, it is that time of year. We've been very naughty, the both of us, but from our point of view, that's good behavior. So lots of presents for us... but our favourite thing to unwrap is each other.

I've been especially naughty. Can I unwrap you now, please?

You must! And as to the rest of you... if you hear moaning and crying out  for the next seven hours, well... that's us, getting into the holiday spirit. Not to mention licking candy canes and eating delicacies. Some of that will even be food.

Food? I suppose we do have to keep up our energy. And I did buy a bag of butterscotch....

I love what you do with butterscotch... not to mention a bit of hot chocolate... 

Mmmmmm...delicious! The hot chocolate and butterscotch sound good too!

That, my dear, is an understatement. Merry Christmas, everyone! If you have to have anything in your stocking, make sure it's not coal. That stuff gets everywhere. Believe me, we know. And we might add... there's a difference between being naughty, like us... and being bad. If you're really, really bad, you're not getting coal in your stocking. You're getting a Justin Bieber Christmas CD.

Our characters Rachel and Olivia prefer a different version of that Christmas standard

Monday, December 12, 2011

Dana on The REAL Sexiest Men Ever!

Who comes up with these stupid lists, anyway?

Now, I'm not saying People had it entirely wrong--there were some truly hot men on their list, but come on! They missed a lot of hotties, and I should know. I'm a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to the opposite sex. 

First off, I'm a sucker for a guy with an accent--Irish, Scottish, Aussie, French, Italian. I suppose it's because they all sound so much smarter than Americans, even if they're not. Maybe that's why I find Chloe's Gabriel so divine....

But I'm getting off track here, aren't I?

I adore Hugh Grant. Like a fine wine, he just gets better with age....

And Liam Neeson...

How about James McAvoy? Can't resist a Scotsman!

Hey...get out of here!

 That means you too--scat!

And Orlando Bloom!

Viggo Mortensen is sexy as Aragorn or as himself!

 What the...

Go away! Haven't you caused enough trouble?

The suave, sexy Colin Firth....

Of course, I do find some homegrown guys sexy, too, like Jeremy Renner....

That's NOT Jeremy Renner! How did those bears get in here? Gabriel--did you do this?

There's Jeremy...and he is HOT, HOT, HOT!

Then there's...wait a minute! This is NOT funny!

 I'm going to shoot all of you--do you hear me? You've made me forget what I was about to say!

Oh, not again! (Dana runs away, screaming....)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Olivia And Rachel: Sexy Women And Getting Hot And Bothered

Today we're handing over the blog to two of our characters, Rachel Mitchell and Olivia Shaw, for their take on the sexiest ladies around....

Olivia: Well, darling, it seems our creators are giving us a chance to play in their blog. Isn't that sweet of them?

Rachel: Very much so! We'll try not to cause too much havoc while we're here.

Olivia: It turns out that People recently put out another one of those Sexiest Man Alive issues. Not that I really understand the fixation, but apparently it sells lots of copies. And they named Bradley Cooper of all people as the Sexiest Man Alive this year.

Rachel: Good God, not him.

Olivia: Yes, that prat from those irritating Hangover movies.

Rachel: Not that we find him remotely sexy. We play on a completely different team, after all.

Olivia: Yes. Besides, he had the bad judgment to date both Renee Zellweger and Jennifer Aniston. That says a lot about his personal taste, doesn't it? And after all, he just doesn't have the sort of... equipment to get you and I hot and bothered.

Rachel: Sweetheart, that's an understatement. So our writers thought that they'd let us make our own picks for the hottest women among the stars. If it was hottest women in general, we'd easily pick each other.

Olivia: Can you blame us? Okay, shall we begin?

Rachel: Oh, let's. Some of the choices we've made have been women who do swing our way, other women who swing both ways, and, well, those women we wish would have swung our way.

Olivia: First off, we'd have to say Maria Bello. Smart and sexy in whatever role she does. She does draw our attention whenever we see her in a new role. Can you blame us? Just look at her!

Rachel: And she's funny too. Just watch Thank You For Smoking. She's got the banter right down, comes across as spirited, and let's face it, Olivia and I find spirited irresistable. I don't think she plays for our team though, does she?

Olivia: Not as far as I know. For a long time that was a question mark about our next pick, the delightful Jodie Foster. At least until she came out of the closet.

Rachel: Another strong, smart, sexy woman. She's very careful about the films she gets involved in. You don't have to worry about Jodie sullying her reputation by starring in anything with Ben Stiller, after all. Seems to take things a bit too seriously at times, though I found her adorably hilarious in Maverick.

Olivia: I kept wanting Mel Gibson to get out of the way so I could feast my eyes on Jodie.

Rachel: Our next selection is a lady that definitely swings our way. Melissa Etheridge has been a rock star for years, out of the closet for most of that time, a real icon. And she's sexy as hell.

Olivia: Remember that time I threw my panties at her?

Rachel: I dared you to.

Olivia: Watch her in concert. She flirts with her audience. Granted, her audience are overwhelmingly women... and guys who like how she plays the guitar. How can we not find her sexy?

Rachel: We find another singer, Chely Wright, profoundly sexy... it's the way she winks and smiles. And she's come out of the closet in the last couple of years.

Olivia: She performs in country music, which can be a hard audience to come out of the closet to. They tend to be conservative, set in their ways... I wonder how much she brings up about herself if she's doing a concert down south. We like her playfulness in videos and concert. It's very, very attractive.

Rachel: No kidding, honey! Staying in the musical genre, our next pick has to be the late great jazz singer Billie Holiday.

Olivia: She had the kind of voice that can break your heart and make you feel happy, sometimes in the very same song. She had this tragic, dramatic life, and it really brought out volumes of life experience in what she sang.

Rachel: And as it turns out, she swung both ways, had affairs with men and women.

Olivia: Our next selection is a pair, given that, well, they're married and all. Rachel and I do like a laugh, and the comedian Ellen DeGeneres does make us laugh. Besides, have one look at her wife Portia De Rossi.

Rachel: Straight women would go for her! A much better pick then Ellen's previous relationship. Let's face it, Anne Heche was a little bit unhinged.

Olivia: Just a little?

Rachel: Okay, a lot.

Olivia: We'd have to include Miranda Otto on this list.

Rachel: But of course. I don't know about you, but I kind of fell head over heels when I first saw her as Eowyn in The Two Towers.

Olivia: Strong, opinionated, stubborn, smart, and utterly courageous.

Rachel: Come on, Eowyn, who needs to go chasing after Aragorn when you can come play with our team?

Olivia: Sweetie, you're giving me all sorts of naughty ideas for later on.

Rachel: Two more names finish off our list. The first is the lovely Thandie Newton.

Olivia: She kind of reminds me of you, darling.

Rachel: Sultry, sexy, and seductive?

Olivia: And really exotic. We've seen her in a number of films, though she's probably best known for starring opposite that unpleasant Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2. I wonder if he was wearing lifts in his shoes when they had scenes together.

Rachel: He really is a short man, isn't he? Last of our list, and speaking of exotic... we'd have to go with an actress from India named Aishwarya Rai. The media often cites her as the most beautiful woman in the world. It's really not all that hard to see why.

Olivia: Most of her work of course is in the Bollywood side of things. I never could get into all of those strange dance number films that seem to be released all the time out of those studios, but I'd love to see her in something else. Suppose she could be convinced to star in a film with Thandie, Portia, Maria, Miranda, and Jodie?

Rachel: Honey, I think that would have you and I permanently overheated.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Scarlett And James Choose The Sexiest Stars... And There's No Sign Of Bradley Cooper In The Lot

Well then, once again People magazine came out with their annual Sexiest Man Alive article recently, and Scarlett and I were not impressed. While we're personally convinced that we're the sexiest people alive, we thought that we'd pick our own choices for the sexiest stars of the classical era today.

And they were oh-so-sexy. Not as sexy as you, my darling, no one is...but there were some fabulous stars back them. I'm thinking Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. I do love that movie--and Rick was so masculine, and so sacrificing...and his real-life love story with Lauren Bacall....

How can anyone not put Bogie in such a list? And mentioning Lauren Bacall is fitting... I always loved her strong, stubborn streak that came out in her roles. What a grand lady. Try to apply that phrase to someone like, oh, Megan Fox these days.

Oh, please! There's no comparison!  Megan Fox will be on Where Are They Now? or worse, Dancing with the Stars. 

Another real-life star couple I really love is Clark Gable and Carole Lombard. Word has it she was very smart but quite outrageous. He was great. Like Bogey, a real man's man.

Most definitely! I liked Carole Lombard's sense of comic timing in some of the classics. Sharp dialogue, a smart actress... how can anyone not find that appealing?
Going back, another name that comes to mind is probably best known for The Ghost And Mrs. Muir. I remember watching that movie for the first time and being so struck by the performance of Gene Tierney. I've seen her in other films, and really enjoyed her work. Headstrong and stubborn can be really sexy.

Promise not to laugh, darling...Johnny Weissmuller. Tarzan could carry me off to his tree house anytime. 

It's the bare chest swinging from a vine thing. Must be.

Have I ever told you how sexy you'd look in a loincloth?

Yes... and your objective would be to get me out of the loincloth. And since that would be my objective too.... hmmm, where were we? Oh, yes.

I'll admit it... I always had a bit of a thing for Olivia DeHavilland, who of course is still around today. Putting aside that Gone With The Wind film... can't stand that one... look at the films she did with Errol Flynn. Amazingly memorable. And not just for the swords and swashbuckling... the leading lady was a stunner!

Ahhh...Errol Flynn! I really liked Rock Hudson, but it turned out he wasn't my type. Actually, I wasn't his type. Cary about suave and sophisticated!

Cary Grant would probably have to be the winner among the guys. The consummate charmer, perfectly suave. And bringing up his name brings up one of his best leading ladies, the great Katherine Hepburn. Smart, stubborn, opinionated, dramatic... and very, very, attractive. Watch those two heat up the screen in something like Bringing Up Baby, such a great screwball comedy, or in The Philadelphia Story, where they have James Stewart in the mix. Sharp characters, snappy dialogue, and chemistry that's ready to explode.

And then Kate always did have tremendous chemistry with Spencer Tracy..

Tracy and, there was a star couple! She's my role model, you know.... 

She's a great role model to have!

You know, one that also stands out for me from the classic era has to be Myrna Loy. She acted with a lot of the big names in the day, but she's best known for her films with William Powell, and several of those were the Thin Man films. They were Nick and Nora Charles, always getting themselves into murder mysteries... actually, more like she was pushing her husband, an occasional detective, into investigating murders. He'd have been much happier figuring out the right concoction for a martini. She really brought a lot of spirit and wit to whatever part she'd play, and she had this way of smiling... the look in her eyes that said yes, my husband's a bit of a fool, but I love him anyway. I found it adorable.

Darling , that's the way most wives look at their husbands. Usually when the husbands aren't looking.

Yes, I do get the sense that's the way of it, goddess!

Two more men on my list, and are they ever HOT--Paul Newman and Steve McQueen. These two should be on the Sexiest Men EVER list! I would not have minded being in The Towering Inferno at all if it meant being rescued by those two hunks!

It's McQueen, Newman... two of the best there ever were. I'm sure a fair number of ladies were overheated watching them in that movie... and pretty much every other movie they ever did!

We were all heated up before the fire even started!

One more name for the list. I saw him mainly on TV, so I don't really think of him as a movie star from that era, but...John Forsythe. He made Dynasty almost bearable!

 I've only seen clips... but Joan Collins always struck me as a banshee overacting and chewing her way through the scenery, her co stars, and every single Girl Guide she could find.
Well, that's it for us... we have to get back to... doing some research. In between the bedsheets. Though we'll be revisiting the topic... or that is our characters will be revisiting the subject.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Fictional Weddings Require As Much Work As Real Weddings

Today we thought we'd talk about weddings, given that we're writing one for the book at the moment. This is an odd thing, considering that we didn't expect we'd be doing so... at least not a wedding for our main characters, until the second book. They hijacked the book on us!

It was Chloe's fault, really. Gabriel wanted to give her a perfect wedding...but all Chloe wanted was to marry Gabriel and have her mother with them on their wedding day. That was her idea of perfect.

And so here we are, arranging a wedding for them within a few days. You know, there's this joke I recall from meeting a fellow in a church one day. He said that brides would reserve the church three years in advance, this despite not having a groom at the moment.

That's true, for the most part...but not for Chloe. She didn't even think about a wedding until she met Gabriel. She's a girl who didn't need a Kim Kardashian wedding, just the man she loved and the people they both cared about, in a small, intimate ceremony with a lovely setting.

That's the sort of ceremony we should all go for. Chloe has never struck me as a Bridezilla, which is a very good thing. Still, small wedding or not, there are details that have to be seen to. Such as the rings....

And their wedding attire....the license...the preacher...the location...the gifts for their attendants. And we haven't even discussed a wedding cake or a (small) reception yet!

 Come to think of it... should there be a musician? It's questions like this that lead to big weddings...

Maybe a friend with a guitar?

Or a violin? Certainly not an accordion!

Definitely no accordion! A violin would be very nice....

So there are definitely things left to be seen to. Still, a quiet wedding's a whole lot better then one of those extravaganzas. It's much more meaningful.

Gabriel and Chloe both come from a place where they appreciate what a wedding is really all about.

It makes them much more compelling, that way.

And the good news is that they don't have to have a traditional wedding cake! They can have whatever they want.

Why am I picturing carrot cake?

Maybe because you like carrot cake?

They can have a carrot cake!

That's one checked off the list, and more to come!

Do we do a reception afterward, or just take everyone to a nice restaurant?

I think some nice restaurant, a country inn, that sort of thing... after all, Gabriel and Chloe would want some privacy for their wedding night. And they're not going to get it with a farmhouse full of people... not to mention owls and coyotes outside making noise all night long...

Maybe a night at a nice country inn would be a wedding gift from of of their friends...or Linda...or Bridget?

Yes, that would be right...

Now, the question is... how will Gabriel get that garter off his bride?

With his teeth, of course!

No hands, Gabriel!

Wait a minute... he's a fictional character!