You Can Use Solar Power For What?

Darling James, a shop in Alabama has offered its customers a trade: solar-powered sex toys for their old, battery-powered ones....

Really, lover? I'm shocked that anyone in Alabama knows what solar power is. Now is that the sort of thing one wants lying out in the open where friends, family, or former teachers might happen to wander by and see it?

The punchline was that people in Alabama think if the sex toy is solar powered, they have to masturbate on the roof.

What a lovely image, Scarlett! Hillbillies getting off, while getting on the roof.

Yeah, I knew you'd like that one.

You know, it might be a punchline, but... it'll happen. Along with all of the public indecency charges that follow.

I'm sure it will. There are stories on the news all the time of men getting caught having sex with animals...or inanimate objects....

Ick!!! You know, if we have to get charged with public indecency, shouldn't we have that one special someone with us to share in the indecency charge? It's so much more fun that way.

One idiot got it stuck in the hole for the umbrella on a patio table....

How to explain that to the inlaws...

I could see the wife bringing her parents out to the patio and there's hubby with his dick stuck in the center of the table....

Oh, yes... "there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this." Which, of course, leads to shrieks of horror, the dad-in law asking what the hell he was thinking, and divorce papers.

Kiss Us, Our Character's Irish

 Well, darling, here we are. St. Patrick's Day is upon us. Isn't there a line about Kiss me, I'm Irish? Or something like that?

That's it, my love. 

I'm a little bit Irish. Shall I show you which bit so you can kiss it?

Oh, by all means. You know how much I like kissing every exquisite bit of you. I think between the two of us, the expression ought to be Sleep With Me, I'm Irish. Not that we get a lot of sleeping in.

I've never understood why anyone says they're sleeping with someone. If they're sleeping, they're not doing it right.

Of course not! And really, who can sleep with all that sex going on?

Anyway, before we get carried away with ourselves... yes, right... can't let ourselves do that, can we?

They say that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, and for that, we drink green beer and eat Irish stew every March the Seventeenth... Scarlett, that's not a snake.

Well, it certainly is striking at me. And I've always wanted to be a snake charmer--you know, play music for it and watch it rise out of the basket. 

Oh, will you look at that? And I haven't played a single note!

That's because it's rather fond of you.

I'm more than a little fond of it, too.

And look--it found my Irish part!

Oh, yes, so I see... It's so well acquainted with your... ahem, Irish part.

What do you suppose it is about St. Patrick's that brings out the Irish in us? Why do we feel compelled to wear green? Which reminds me, I really like that emerald green teddy on you...

I used a bit of green hair dye as well. No, not on my head, silly!

Oh really? Hmmm, let me have a look.... oh, my... yes, I do so like that! Very fetching, darling. Shall we try some of that on me too?

I was hoping you'd want to! It tastes like peppermint,

Oh, right. Where were we? Aside from shameless flirting...

I've covered our bed in shamrocks....

Darling goddess, what an idea!

In that case, shall we adjourn to the bedroom?

I thought you'd never ask!

Ladies and gentlemen, you'll have to go off and celebrate St. Patrick's Day yourselves. And if you happen to hear one of us moaning, Faith and Begorrah, we're just having a little fun. Or a lot of fun.

One of us? We're not both going to be moaning? 

Of course we will! I'm sure that let me touch your shamrock will turn up in our pillow talk moanings sooner or later.

Please excuse us...I think that darling snake is looking for a place to hide....

Scarlett: Steamy Sentences

And so without further ado, Scarlett selected these sentences (creatively, mind you) from her own portions of the work in progress. Enjoy... and don't mind us getting naked. We do that a lot.

"Mmmmmmm.... And pay no attention to the window washer. He likes to watch...."

Chloe thought of the photographs in her e-mail box and felt the heat in her cheeks. I'm blushing, she thought, trying in vain to push those images from her thoughts. Not here. Oh, not here, not now! Aloud, she said, "Just this morning, in fact."

You idiot, she mentally reprimanded herself. He's naked. You just kissed a very naked Gabriel, and acted as though it was no big deal.


At the mention of the webcam, Chloe felt the blood rush to her cheeks. 


“I'll be your slave girl. Your every wish is my command.”

James: Six Seductive Sentences

We've seen these blogs elsewhere, and Scarlett and I thought we'd take our own particular shot at it, with six sentences each, taken from various places in our work in progress, Same Time Tomorrow. Here are six I've chosen from my side of writing the book:

“After all, the lady has no idea where a dog like you has been.”

"Someone who’d find those dimples of yours irresistible would be nice."

"This isn’t going to turn into the Donner Party, you know.”

Any time you want to get moving and bother the Netherlands or Germany, feel free.

As his tongue drove her towards orgasm, she moaned, running her fingers through his hair, calling out his name…

You’re my mistress… my lover… and I belong to you.

St. Valentine's Day: Advice, Flirtations, and Arched Eyebrows

Happy Valentine's Day all!

We've seen so many Valentine-themed blogs in the past few days that we decided we just had to offer our own thoughts on how to celebrate this holidays for lovers. Candy and flowers are nice, girls, but what do you really want from your man? And men, what would you like your women to do to show you they love you?

A very happy Valentine's Day indeed!

It's a day meant to celebrate love and affection. It's a day where the florists and chocolatiers are at their busiest. It's a day filled with Valentine's cards. In fact, as Scarlett can tell you, it's one of our favourite days.

I'll start by suggesting that as men, we like to feel appreciated.

I know how you like to be appreciated, darling, but maybe you should give our readers some details.

Oh, yes, we're supposed to be behaving ourselves and giving them tips and thoughts.

What do we men want? No, not a case of beer in front of the television. At least not if we're worth anything. I know that's a common stereotype, but not all of us are like that.

It's the little things, really, that make us feel appreciated. Those small gestures of affection. It might just be a momentary rub of an arm. A pat on the back. A kind word.

Oh, and we really like back rubs.

Now when did I ever want you to behave yourself, sweetheart?

Girls, try the back rubs. Try a full-body massage. Try a warm, sensuous bath for two. Sip champagne. Eat chocolate dipped strawberries.

Better yet, feed them to him. Give him a shave. 

A shave, yes. It implies a great deal of trust, guys. She's got that sharp razor at your throat, after all.

And by the way, gentlemen, feeding her those strawberries too is a very good idea. They're tasty... they're good for energy, and both of you will need that energy.

Just take your time. Make sure that champagne's the good kind. And while you've got her in that tub, give her legs a rub. Yes, it might well lead to more vigorous activities, so to speak.... but do it just for the sake of doing it too.

Now, speaking of full body massages, there was this time Scarlett and I got carried away with ourselves in the governor's mansion...

I still don't understand why everyone was so upset. The press catching us certainly drew attention away from the accusations being hurled at him....

We ended up on the cover of every newspaper in the state and the National Enquirer.  I thought we looked fabulous! I don't know why they put those silly black ribbons across our private parts, though....

They're perfectly natural parts of the anatomy, after all, but some people....

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes. Talking about massages. You can make it a mutual thing, guys. Let her massage you, and do the same in return. And I strongly suggest lots and lots of practice.

And while we're at it, try a couple's massage. Take a weekend away. Go to one of those all inclusive inns. Have a couple's massage done. It's a wonderful way to unwind...

Go to a cozy bed and breakfast, just the two of you. Pamper each other. Indulge each other's fantasies. 

Like that naughty nun James enjoys so much....

The naughty nun. And you look so ravishing in a habit.

Or that dashing swordsman you so adore....

Ah, Zorro. The fox. And James does look so very foxy in that cape, boots, mask, hat...and nothing else. 
His sword is impressive. And that sabre's not bad, either.

Special Award!

Though we already gave out three Cold Shower Awards this week, another steamy blog has come to our attention that we feel deserves special  merit. And so we give the fourth Cold Shower Award to Telega Tales and Tart Cookies.


Check it out!  And Karla...you have to promise to NEVER do that again!

The Cold Shower Award

Scarlett and I came up with the idea some time ago for the Cold Shower Award. It was after finding this little treasure of a picture.....

So what is the Cold Shower Award? We've decided that it should go to blogs whose current or future work gets the readers hot and bothered, aroused, and turned on... and not in that order. It's for those blogs whose contents are not safe reading for work, or might be given to adding on pictures such as the above.

Here's how we made use of that picture:

So, to start things off, we have three blogs we subscribe to that we want to give this to.

Romance Writers Behaving Badly is certainly deserving of the honors, given its track record as a spicy and sultry blog.

My Character's Lives is a character blog written by Beth, whose current work is leading into the steamy side of things.

Smart Bitches Trashy Books certainly speaks for itself.

Check these blogs out. Just don't do so with little children or the church elders looking over your shoulder. You're bound to get rather red faced.

Now if you'll excuse me, Scarlett's expecting me in the shower. And I don't want to keep her waiting....